Alzheimer's Attitudes

I have heard many people say that, with Alzheimer’s, the patient becomes angry and aggressive as the disease progresses. I have to say, from my experience with my mother, that is not always the case. My mother has always been a loving person. She has always encouraged me to approach things from a positive perspective instead of taking a negative approach. When she was working in the business world she was a professional, pragmatic business woman. But beneath that lived the tender heart of a loving woman. I recall the time, when one of her tenants was behind on their rent, that she went to the house to post a pay rent or vacate notice. At that time she spoke with the tenant and found out that their child was in the hospital with cancer and they simply didn't have the money to pay the rent. Not only did she waive the rent for that month, and couple more for good measure, but she went out and bought groceries for the rest of the family and took it back by their house.

Now, with Alzheimer's very clearly in an advanced stage and advancing relentlessly every day, she is not angry. She is not aggressive. She may occasionally be a bit stubborn if she isn’t ready to get up or if she doesn’t want to change out of her warm pajamas, but she isn’t angry. She is, in fact, quite joyful, and happy and even silly on occasion. She makes jokes, in so far as she is able to do so, and always tells those around her how lovely their eyes are or that she thinks they are beautiful or handsome. She is a consummate hostess, greeting any visitors with a smile and a kiss on the hand. Nowhere is there a trace of the anger or the aggressive behavior that is so often associated with the disease.

Perhaps it’s because she is in her own familiar world, or maybe it’s because she knew what was coming and made arrangements in advance so that she could move into this phase of life with a peaceful mind. It could be any number of such things, I guess, but what I believe it must really be is that with Alzheimer’s you are stripped of all the pretenses, the professional fronts, the sophisticated manners and what you are left with is who you really are, the essence of the individual’s nature. In my mother’s case that is a joyful and loving woman with a natural instinct for caring and a positive approach to life. In other words, even in the face of this disease, she is a blessing to those around her.