Sleep Eat Smile

I had a heart to heart with myself this morning and I came to understand that the reason I have been so hesitant to post on the blog is twofold.  First, I find it difficult to write dispassionately about my Mother’s declining health and, secondly, I hate that so many posts would have to be” today we slept and ate a little bit then went back to sleep.” The cut and dried reality doesn’t offer anyone a glimpse of the bright, loving smile that she always offers when I wake her to take her morning medicine. It can’t show the giggling excitement when a classic old musical is on and a favorite song starts up. And it most certainly can’t capture the delight in her face when someone comes to visit and offers a hand to hold and then be kissed and patted in the cordial happiness of a born hostess.

 

Yes, she can barely speak two words together in a coherent manner.  Yes, it’s true that we are now crushing all of her pills and only feeding her soft foods that are easy to swallow. Yes, we are worried that she isn’t eating or drinking enough; if we can get a full 12 ounces down her every few days, then we count ourselves lucky and we supplement with melon to try and up the liquid intake. And, yes, she sleeps more and more each day; we’re up to 22 hours of sleep per day. Yes, all of that is correct.

But we also have days where she is wide awake for several hours and when she can even converse a bit, in her way, with those around her. She is always joyfully and patient and gracious to those who are around her, those who come to help her with bathing or toileting or eating. She is the consummate hostess, even in her bed, from which she almost never moves.

So I am committing to posting every few days, even if it’s just to say that things are the same. I expect you to understand that this is a slow slide and no news, and especially no change, is good news. Be joyful for Mom that she is comfortable and safe; rejoice that she is happy when she’s awake and peaceful when she sleeps. And don’t weep when you read these posts… I’ll do that for all of us! ;)

That said, this weekend we had some friends come and spend the weekend with us. They cooked and laughed and we enjoyed their company. On Saturday night two of them brought their guitars and a harmonica into Mom’s room and played and sang for her for an hour or more. They played all the old songs that we could think of, including Shenandoah, Red River Valley, Greensleeves, The Gypsy Rover and even The Yellow Rose of Texas. Mom laughed and sang along on a chorus line or two. She had a smile on her face thanked them over and over again when they were finished. She went to sleep with a big smile on her face. On Sunday, the day of the gathering, everyone took turns stopping in for a chat and a hug. One friend even sat with her and sang Amazing Grace with Mom. I guess it’s okay that Mom slept hard for the next three days, because she was wide awake and engaged for much of those two days. Good Times!!