Cliff Hanging

Wow!! Some of the things that I just mentioned in the last post have suddenly become more than just a passing note. Mom seems to have dropped into a new phase. The extra sleeping, that we thought was possibly related to drugs, does not seem to be drug related after all. She has been off all medication for 24 hours and is still so hard a sleep that when I went over to touch her cheek to see if she was too hot or too cold, she didn’t even wake up. When I finally got her to wake up some, she didn’t offer her usual sweet smile, but instead appeared frustrated that she was being wakened instead of being left alone. Her sleep does seem to be a bit more restless this morning, but it seems like it is discomfort driven. She has not had any pain medicine, beyond Tylenol, since yesterday morning.

Additionally, when the Hospice Nurse came yesterday she was quite concerned at Mom’s constipation. This resulted in a rather extended and, for Mom, somewhat painful process of suppositories and enemas and other such efforts to remove the impaction. It is apparently not uncommon when systems begin to slow down and when new medications are added to the mix. We seemed to hit the perfect storm with Mom, but we will be much more attentive to the smallest signs of change in her bowel patterns from now on. I assure you.

Her food and fluid intake has dropped off the cliff as of the 12^th. I didn’t know it, at the time of the last post, but she wasn’t just having a slow night, she was dropping into a new phase. Since that time she has slept almost constantly. Even when being fed as much as we can get her to eat, she falls asleep. I often have to touch her chin or stroke her face to wake her enough to take another bite. She is mostly just eating what is required to get her pain medicines down right now.

The caregiver says that sometimes, when a patient is impacted, they simply can’t eat or drink anything. So we’ll see, now that things are moving, if she is a bit more receptive to food and drink. All we can do now is wait and watch and love her.

I’m am not sure where we go with it from here, but go with it we shall. We are focused now on keeping her comfortable. I know that seeing her smile may not be an everyday thing anymore. I know that this is why I’m here, but I also think this is going to be the hardest part of process for me, however prepared for it I thought I was. I think the fact that she no longer responds when I say I love you and she no longer smiles when I wake her in the morning are the things that hurt the most. But I’ll get used to it. It’s just one more step down this long path. I’m just grateful for all the family support and friendly visits along the way. We wouldn’t be able to do this without them! Sincerely! As my sister said, it has taken all of us to row this boat and keep it moving smoothly forward.