I'll See You In Heaven

When my sisters were leaving after their visit they each took a turn patting my mother’s cheeks and kissing her and then they each told her, “I’ll see you in heaven.” It was such an endearing and loving moment. It truly touched my heart, and still does even now.

On Saturday night friends came to visit and to sit and talk with Mom. A previous caregiver and her husband stopped in and, while they were here, a dear friend brought her husband and their guitars and we all sang songs to Mom for two hours. We hit all the old folk songs and country songs and hymns and even some Christmas carols that Mom had loved. I know that she wasn’t wakeful for it, on the outside, but I have no doubt that the part of her mind that was still awake and listening on the inside was smiling and singing along. It was a very great and joyful time indeed.

Through the evening Mom had started to develop a bit of watery breathing, but not so much that it seemed to be a consistent issue requiring medicine. Later in the night, though, around 5:00 in the morning it had become very heavy and we gave her some atropine to help dry her lungs up some. Within 20 minutes Mom’s breathing was already clearing and by 5:45 her lungs were dry enough that she was breathing normally. So we went back to sleep.

I must have been exhausted because I didn’t wake up until 8:00, much later than my usual 7:00ish time frame. When I woke up and realized how late it was, I started out of bed and checked on Mom. She had already taken one last breath on earth and her first breath in heaven just a few moments before. I have pondered why, on that morning, I should have slept longer than normal and all I can figure is that God and Mom had conspired to prevent me from having to experience actually watching her die. Ever the thoughtful woman, she always worked toward what was best for her children, even at the end.

While I feel myself swept by sorrow sometimes, I know that it is a selfish sorrow… and that is okay. At the same time I rejoice that my mother is free of her broken body and rejoined with the love of her life in the warmth of God’s loving embrace. It is actually quite an odd sensation to feel such deep sorrow and such peace and elation at the same time.

I’m attaching this photo of my parents for you because, to me, it seems to encapsulate all that I have been working toward for the last 3 and one half years, the joyful reuniting of two people who loved each other beyond the boundaries of life on earth. I see them, now, as they were then, young, in love and captured in a private moment of joy that will now last through eternity. I bring to mind the last words my sisters spoke to my mother…

Mom and Dad, I’ll see you in heaven. I love you!