Sunshine and Awakenings

Over the past few days we have had brilliantly sunny weather.  Accordingly, Mom has been much more awake and alert. She has gotten out of bed earlier and she has eaten more food. Admittedly, she most often requires help to feed herself her meals, but she seems to do just fine on her own when eating a cupcake or a cookie. I call it selective disability, or just being a woman of our family!

Now that the holidays are over and all the joyful little Christmas films have been packed away by the Hallmark channel for another year, we are back to playing some of mom’s old favorite videos. We pulled out one the other day that she used to love and put it on to play, just to see if she still likes it. It’s a movie that none of us would have thought she would enjoy and yet it is the one movie that ALWAYS wakes her up and draws her in to full engagement. Yet again, she woke up, sat up and laughed all the way through… The A Team. Go figure!

She still tires out after she has been awake for two or three hours, but she is more awake during her wakeful periods right now, and that counts for a lot in our world. She is still having issues with constipation, but we are starting to get that cleared up thanks to the attentive hospice nurse and her medicines. Apparently, it is NOT good to have end of life patients with bowel discomfort. I thought it wasn’t good to have Anyone to have bowel discomfort, but then I’m a bit of whiner, I guess.

I have to say that periods like this, where Mom is awake and engaged, make me believe that she isn’t really ready for hospice, but I know that the crash will come as soon as the weather turns, or sooner. We just have to enjoy these wakeful times and be grateful for each day that we share.

On a side note, when the Chaplain came on Friday, I asked her to speak to the Caregiver who was working that day and to a friend who was visiting to help me with some home maintenance and repair issues. Both have been struggling with Mom’s decline and transition into the Hospice Program. She was most willing to do as I’d asked and I was most grateful. This process affects more than the patient and the family; it also weighs on friends, neighbors and the caregiving staff who have become so attached to the patient over the years. I try to remember that, as I am struggling with my emotions and with keeping them in check, so are those who work with me to care for my mother. We each deal differently with the pain, the sorrow, and the worry and those differences can leave us, at times, at odds with each other. However, it is imperative that we remain as patient and compassionate with each other as we are with Mom. We are all in this together and together we’ll get through it. Mom’s loving nature should be our guide in dealing, not just with her, but with each other… and with ourselves.